Good morning, girls. :)
Thanks so much for your sweet comments and encouragement...I appreciate you all so much! And welcome to all of you new readers from ICLW. Thanks for following along...I'll try not to bore you to death (but no promises, okay?).
Things around this abode are slowly returning to normal...the Christmas stuff is being put away, the house is getting cleaned, we've bought our black-eyed peas to cook for New Year's Day. I say slowly because Mike is off from work this week, so we're trying to spend some time together and we've been doing a lot of visiting with family and friends...things that are so much more important than cleaning. :) Also, the snotty-nose-coughing bug has hit our house again and no one feels all too stellar. Though I'm not sick like that (knocking on wood), Mike is stuffed up and hacking and my poor sister sounds like a frog has taken up residence in her throat. I'm not feeling the greatest in other ways (thanks to little Baby B) but we're all gonna make it...slowly. :)
For those of you who did ask, we had a WONDERFUL holiday. We saw a lot of friends and family that we don't often see, had massive amounts of great food (which is showing itself on my hips as I type, I'm sure) and even met some new people who made things even more enjoyable. There are some little moments that stick in my head like snapshots that help me remember the good stuff and treasure it even more...a great conversation with my Aunt Margie, Zoey jumping in my arms as soon as I walked in the door at her house (even though she sees me often), a funny story and a laugh shared with Marguerite (who's also expecting), listening to my Papaw's stories of being on the TN Highway Patrol for 30+ years, singing 'Happy Birthday' to my sis early Christmas morning (she turned 27 on Christmas Day), watching 'Christmas Vacation' with my family and laughing my butt off, some much-needed advice from my Nan and sharing happy tears with my aunt over the pending arrival of Baby B...all these little things and so much more made me realize how incredibly, wonderfully blessed we are to have these people in our lives and how much we enjoyed sharing Christmas with them. It was truly great!
As great as it was, I am actually glad to see it come to an end. Though I wish that I could have those conversations and such all the time, I am ready for the normalcy that everyday life brings. I'm ready for a new year, new experiences and new things to come. (I'm also ready for the second visiting of this nasty cold to take a hike and hopefully it will be gone from here by then.) I'm thinking a bit about the whole 'resolutions' thing and while I might post on it later, I don't have anything super specific in mind...just generally trying to be a better person and do more for others than I do for myself. Trying to be an overcomer and not dwell in negativity or in the past...okay, I can see that I really might have more thoughts on that than I realized. :) So, that's another post for another day.
Anyway, I thought I'd check in and see how you're all doing and let you know that things are still moving right along here in B'ville, minus the tinsel and lights and sugar cookies. We're still full-up on gifts, though, and not just of the material variety. Though the trimmings of the season are all wrapped up and in the process of being packed away for another year, the memories are forever embedded in my mind and heart. Hope you have some good stuff tucked away in the corners of your mind to pull out when you need a laugh or some encouragement, too. Happy Wednesday, my friends!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
One Year Later...Then & Now
What a difference a year makes! As this year draws closer to it's end, it reminds me to look back and see where I've been...where I am now...and where I'm going. It's hard to believe that 2009 is nearly gone. With it came so many things...things I'm proud and not so proud of, things I cherish and some things I'd like to forget...regardless, I'm in such a different place this year than last. I found some Christmas pics from last year that were the impetus to this post, especially when I compared them to our Christmas pics from this year. This pic was taken last Christmas...2008. I'm nearly embarrassed to show it...I remember telling my sister, who was taking the picture, to only take it/crop it so that my face, not my body, was showing. That was then...
This picture was taken just a few days ago. This is now...
Then, I was still completely devastated over the loss of Grayson and I had all but given up hope of ever having a child. I was so overweight that I hated to look in the mirror and nothing in our lives seemed to be going right. Things seemed so dark and I truly thought that the docs would never find a "reason" for my problems, much less be able to help them. I didn't care to do anything to help myself and I felt like I was just biding time. I didn't know to what end I was biding that time or what I was waiting for or why...that's just how I felt. Looking back, I'm sure I was dealing with the depression that so many of us IFers face and just didn't realize the extent of it all. My smile in this pic says, "Just hurry up and snap the stupid picture! I'm tired of pretending already."
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Thanks be to God for keeping me, for my family and friends who kept me afloat, even when I didn't acknowledge my need of them, of HIM. And silly as it might sound, thank God for Dr. D and her wisdom and insight and knowledge that helped lead me out of the medical pit that I was in.
This picture was taken just a few days ago. This is now...
Now, I am now one year past the diagnosis of my PCOS and my IR, as well as the clinical diagnosis of RPL. I am one year past starting a new lifestyle of eating low carb, exercising and taking my meds like clockwork. I am one year past my despair that I might never have a viable pregnancy. It feels a bit like a victory, an anniversary of sorts that I never thought I'd be blessed enough to see. I feel a bit selfish posting about all of these things...it's nothing that I've done all by myself and but for the grace of God, I wouldn't be in the place at all...but I felt the need to celebrate a bit about the good that's come out of the trials of the past. And this "One Year Later" post seemed the place to do it, to commemorate the weight loss, the positive changes, the conception of our miracle baby. My smile in this pic, unlike the other, is genuine...and I'm not quite so ashamed of my body, although it still needs work! :)
As this year closes out, it makes me wonder what my "One Year Later" post for 2010 will be like. Regardless of the outcome, it's fantastic to look back and see how far God has brought me in one year. From depressed and unhealthy to strong and healthier than I've ever been. From barren with no hope to treated and pregnant and ready to become a mom. From morbidly obese to a weight that although not stellar, is where I needed to be to carry my precious little one.
This is not a gloating session my friends, it's what I hope is an encouragement. I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE HERE. Honestly. And I hope that when you have those days when you feel like your 'time' will never come, that they'll never find what's 'wrong' with you, when there seems no end in sight that you'll remember that NOTHING is impossible. I'd like to think that there's proof of that here on these pages and on the pages of other ladies just like us who are continually overcoming things so much worse than I've ever known. Whether your road leads you to a child of your womb, surrogacy, fostering, adoption, childless living or some other path completely, I pray that as the coming year approaches, that the desires of your heart are given to you. Much love, many prayers and hugs to you all. :)
Friday, December 25, 2009
Merry Christmas!
Just a quick note this morning to tell all of you, my precious bloggy buddies, that I'm thinking of you today. Regardless of how you celebrate the holiday season, I hope and pray that today is a joyful day for you. That you know your incredible blessings, feel the love of your family and friends and can take time to enjoy the wonder and peace that the season brings.
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Merry Christmas to you all.
God bless!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Whoodathunkit?
I did something today that I thought I'd never, ever, not-in-a-million-years do.
I parked in the "Expectant/New Mother Parking" area at the grocery store.
I can still hardly believe that I did that. Let me explain myself. Alright, I know that I shouldn't have to explain myself seeing that this is my blog but it will make me feel so much better if I do. :)
It was raining like crazy and I had only one thing to get at the grocery store...really, just a can of peach pie filling that I forgot yesterday. After circling the parking lot for ages, it seemed the only parking spaces that weren't on the 'Back 40' were right up beside the store but I assumed that they were handicapped parking only. Until I saw a car park there and an obviously pregnant lady get out. So, that got me interested enough to drive on up to the front of the store and check it out. Well, sure enough, there were handicapped parking spots just as I thought but there were also designated spots with signs that read "Parking for Expectant & New Mothers". Hole. Lee. Crap. Now, I am not naive...I knew these spots existed at some stores but I had not noticed them at this particular store before. And I have never been my current 'state' when I noticed them either.
I found myself in a bit of a dilemma. At 15 weeks, I don't look pregnant at all...especially since I wasn't a skinny gal to start. But I am pregnant, even if I don't look it. Even if no one else really knows. And I never thought I would be and don't want to flaunt it. I found that I was arguing with myself in the middle of the parking lot like the nut job that I am...debating the ethics of parking in one of those spots that I never thought I'd be 'allowed' to park in. I need psychiatric help, I'm sure. :)
To make a long story shorter, I parked there. I almost freaked out and lost my nerve as I pulled in and even considered backing out and parking elsewhere...or even going to another store. But I didn't. I got out and got my one can of peach pie filling and got out of that parking space in record time! It felt so weird, so strange, so unreal to see my car sitting in that particular spot and know that it was okay for it to be there. Freaky. But it was also cathartic and welcome and kinda felt 'right'. And still freaky. :) I don't plan on using those spots regularly just yet...normally I enjoy the walk but the rain deterred me today...but there was just a bit of freedom in knowing that I was now 'allowed' to park there. Like a weird little Christmas gift...
I parked in the "Expectant/New Mother Parking" area at the grocery store.
I can still hardly believe that I did that. Let me explain myself. Alright, I know that I shouldn't have to explain myself seeing that this is my blog but it will make me feel so much better if I do. :)
It was raining like crazy and I had only one thing to get at the grocery store...really, just a can of peach pie filling that I forgot yesterday. After circling the parking lot for ages, it seemed the only parking spaces that weren't on the 'Back 40' were right up beside the store but I assumed that they were handicapped parking only. Until I saw a car park there and an obviously pregnant lady get out. So, that got me interested enough to drive on up to the front of the store and check it out. Well, sure enough, there were handicapped parking spots just as I thought but there were also designated spots with signs that read "Parking for Expectant & New Mothers". Hole. Lee. Crap. Now, I am not naive...I knew these spots existed at some stores but I had not noticed them at this particular store before. And I have never been my current 'state' when I noticed them either.
I found myself in a bit of a dilemma. At 15 weeks, I don't look pregnant at all...especially since I wasn't a skinny gal to start. But I am pregnant, even if I don't look it. Even if no one else really knows. And I never thought I would be and don't want to flaunt it. I found that I was arguing with myself in the middle of the parking lot like the nut job that I am...debating the ethics of parking in one of those spots that I never thought I'd be 'allowed' to park in. I need psychiatric help, I'm sure. :)
To make a long story shorter, I parked there. I almost freaked out and lost my nerve as I pulled in and even considered backing out and parking elsewhere...or even going to another store. But I didn't. I got out and got my one can of peach pie filling and got out of that parking space in record time! It felt so weird, so strange, so unreal to see my car sitting in that particular spot and know that it was okay for it to be there. Freaky. But it was also cathartic and welcome and kinda felt 'right'. And still freaky. :) I don't plan on using those spots regularly just yet...normally I enjoy the walk but the rain deterred me today...but there was just a bit of freedom in knowing that I was now 'allowed' to park there. Like a weird little Christmas gift...
Christmas Q & A
So, I'm sure that you've seen this by now (it's circulating all around the blogosphere) but you're just gonna have to look at it again since you're here. :) So have some hot cocoa (I am...yum!) and find out what Christmas is like around here...
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Both. I am a gift wrap HOG. All during and after Christmas (especially after when it's on SALE...my favorite 4 letter word!), I stock up on everything wrap related. I have (literally) boxes of gift bags, boxes, tissue, labels and the like and DOZENS of rolls of wrapping paper. Seriously...I am an addict. :)
2. Real tree or Artificial? Love the smell of real ones but artificial is the way we always go...cheaper, easier, longer lasting and much less tempting to my kitties.
3. When do you put up the tree? The day after Thanksgiving...or very shortly thereafter. My birthday usually falls on that weekend and it has been a birthday and holiday tradition since I was a kid.
4. When do you take the tree down? Whenever I get the urge...sometime around the New Year. I like to start of the New Year with a clean slate (and a clean house).
5. Do you like eggnog? Ab-so-lute-ly NOT. It is too thick or rich or something for my taste. But Mike LOVES it, so if you stop by for some holiday refreshment, it will be found in our fridge.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? The "Annie" record and record player I got as a kid. I loved (and still do love) the little redheaded orphan and would sing into my hairbrush at the top of my lungs, "Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya...tomorrow! You're only a day away!" I bet my mom was glad when that record needle finally wore out. :)
7. Hardest person to buy for? My mom...she has everything and needs nothing. And Mike's parents because we are nothing alike and I am always apprehensive about if they'll like their gifts.
8. Easiest person to buy for? My Mamaw...all she ever wants is new pictures of us to update her office and/or refrigerator. You should see them both. With 20+ grandkids, it's like a shrine!
9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes, several in fact. My favorite is one that we've had since I was a child.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? I used to send cards...now I'm too cheap and lazy. :) (I guess with Baby B coming we'll probably have to get back into the swing of things next year with those snazzy picture cards.) But apparently I'm not alone in my non-card-sending ways...we only received a few cards this year when we are usually inundated with them.
11. Worst Christmas ever? Hmmm...I don't really think we've had a terrible Christmas. We've had some really lean times and some sad times, too, but I think we've focused more on who we were with and the joy of the season than the negative.
12. Favorite Christmas Movie(s)? "White Christmas" is my absolute favorite, followed pretty closely by "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation"...both of them are a tradition in our home for completely different reasons.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? In January...gotta love those after-Christmas sales!
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yup. Guilty as charged...but never to people who know each other.
15 .Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Sausage Cheese Balls. We do it up big and more formal for Thanksgiving, so we're more for snacky/appetizer-like foods for Christmas. I could eat those little snackers by the boatload these days.
17. Favorite Christmas song? "O Holy Night"...and "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas". The first is so reverent and beautiful and the second never fails to make me laugh. :)
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Almost all of our relatives live locally, so no major travelling for us.
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Sure...doesn't everyone know the "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" song?
(where did #20 go?? Rain made up this one, so I'll go along.)
20. What is the weather usually like where you live on Christmas? Cold but clear...rarely ever is there snow or anything that looks remotely 'wintry'.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? One on Christmas Eve and the rest on Christmas morning.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? The chaos and commercialism that makes it easy to forget the true reason we celebrate...and rude people, of course.
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? I don't have a specific "favorite" but I love all the ornaments that I have that hung on our family tree when I was a kid. I also love the ones that Mike and I have picked out as a couple...we have one for every year that we've been together and it's our tradition now to shop for one each year.
24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Just about anything that my Mamaw cooks! :)
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? Ahhh, the list is far too long and none of it of the material sort. Peace in my family, health for us all (especially Baby B), provision and strength and abundant love to reign in our home. So idealistic, huh? :) Of course, if we were picking something material, I want a carpet cleaner. No, really...I do. No diamonds or pearls, please...just a machine to clean my carpets. (I know, I am such a weirdo!)
And that's the Christmas Q & A from Brazierville. Now, I want to know what you do in your abode. Leave me a comment if you're participating so that I can cruise by your blog and see your holiday doings. I'm looking forward to it! Til then, my friends...
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Both. I am a gift wrap HOG. All during and after Christmas (especially after when it's on SALE...my favorite 4 letter word!), I stock up on everything wrap related. I have (literally) boxes of gift bags, boxes, tissue, labels and the like and DOZENS of rolls of wrapping paper. Seriously...I am an addict. :)
2. Real tree or Artificial? Love the smell of real ones but artificial is the way we always go...cheaper, easier, longer lasting and much less tempting to my kitties.
3. When do you put up the tree? The day after Thanksgiving...or very shortly thereafter. My birthday usually falls on that weekend and it has been a birthday and holiday tradition since I was a kid.
4. When do you take the tree down? Whenever I get the urge...sometime around the New Year. I like to start of the New Year with a clean slate (and a clean house).
5. Do you like eggnog? Ab-so-lute-ly NOT. It is too thick or rich or something for my taste. But Mike LOVES it, so if you stop by for some holiday refreshment, it will be found in our fridge.
6. Favorite gift received as a child? The "Annie" record and record player I got as a kid. I loved (and still do love) the little redheaded orphan and would sing into my hairbrush at the top of my lungs, "Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya...tomorrow! You're only a day away!" I bet my mom was glad when that record needle finally wore out. :)
7. Hardest person to buy for? My mom...she has everything and needs nothing. And Mike's parents because we are nothing alike and I am always apprehensive about if they'll like their gifts.
8. Easiest person to buy for? My Mamaw...all she ever wants is new pictures of us to update her office and/or refrigerator. You should see them both. With 20+ grandkids, it's like a shrine!
9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes, several in fact. My favorite is one that we've had since I was a child.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? I used to send cards...now I'm too cheap and lazy. :) (I guess with Baby B coming we'll probably have to get back into the swing of things next year with those snazzy picture cards.) But apparently I'm not alone in my non-card-sending ways...we only received a few cards this year when we are usually inundated with them.
11. Worst Christmas ever? Hmmm...I don't really think we've had a terrible Christmas. We've had some really lean times and some sad times, too, but I think we've focused more on who we were with and the joy of the season than the negative.
12. Favorite Christmas Movie(s)? "White Christmas" is my absolute favorite, followed pretty closely by "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation"...both of them are a tradition in our home for completely different reasons.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? In January...gotta love those after-Christmas sales!
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yup. Guilty as charged...but never to people who know each other.
15 .Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Sausage Cheese Balls. We do it up big and more formal for Thanksgiving, so we're more for snacky/appetizer-like foods for Christmas. I could eat those little snackers by the boatload these days.
17. Favorite Christmas song? "O Holy Night"...and "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas". The first is so reverent and beautiful and the second never fails to make me laugh. :)
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Almost all of our relatives live locally, so no major travelling for us.
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Sure...doesn't everyone know the "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" song?
(where did #20 go?? Rain made up this one, so I'll go along.)
20. What is the weather usually like where you live on Christmas? Cold but clear...rarely ever is there snow or anything that looks remotely 'wintry'.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? One on Christmas Eve and the rest on Christmas morning.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? The chaos and commercialism that makes it easy to forget the true reason we celebrate...and rude people, of course.
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? I don't have a specific "favorite" but I love all the ornaments that I have that hung on our family tree when I was a kid. I also love the ones that Mike and I have picked out as a couple...we have one for every year that we've been together and it's our tradition now to shop for one each year.
24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Just about anything that my Mamaw cooks! :)
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? Ahhh, the list is far too long and none of it of the material sort. Peace in my family, health for us all (especially Baby B), provision and strength and abundant love to reign in our home. So idealistic, huh? :) Of course, if we were picking something material, I want a carpet cleaner. No, really...I do. No diamonds or pearls, please...just a machine to clean my carpets. (I know, I am such a weirdo!)
And that's the Christmas Q & A from Brazierville. Now, I want to know what you do in your abode. Leave me a comment if you're participating so that I can cruise by your blog and see your holiday doings. I'm looking forward to it! Til then, my friends...
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
That Was Quick!
Happy Tuesday, gals! Hope that you're all well. Thanks to those of you who are dropping by for ICLW. Welcome!
I just wanted to post quickly to let you know that (surprisingly) my Glucola test results came back yesterday. YESTERDAY! I was fully expecting to put on my waiting shoes and stay in a holding pattern til after the New Year. Well, it looks like I was wrong and they pushed my test right on through despite the holiday rush.
Anyway, the results were NORMAL, thank God. I'm willing to admit now that I was worried about it, especially with my history, my IR and the totally crappy way that I've been eating for the past few (read: several) weeks. Regardless of how hard I try, all I want to eat is junk food and carbs...I literally gag on anything green or healthy or remotely good for me other than a few certain fruits. I feel like I'm totally blowing all the hard work I've done over the past year and could be harming Baby B in the process. I know that's probably just my neurosis talking but it's true...I am just eating so poorly! So, despite my waywardness, it does my heart and mind a little good to know that between the Lord and the Metformin, that GD is on the back burner, at least for now. :)
I would love to say that I'm going to eat more healthily for sure (I do try...really! And I succeed sometimes) but right now I'm sitting here craving donuts and Twix bars and french fries...all of it...together. What am I supposed to do with that? And don't tell a hormonal pregnant chic that it's mind over matter. HA! My mind just says that it doesn't matter at all...feed me! :D
While I'm rejoicing with this good news, my heart is breaking for my good friend, A. She conceived using IVF w/ICSI just a few weeks ago but found out yesterday that her pregnancy was ectopic. She had to have surgery to remove the baby AND her right tube yesterday afternoon. She is distraught (and rightly so) and I feel so terribly for her. If you're of the praying persuasion, take a moment to remember A and her family with me today. This is incredibly hard anytime but we all know what the holidays can do to us IFers anyway and now she has this to contend with as well.
I'm thinking of all of you today! I've been catching up on my reading and have found some wonderful, insightful and touching things on your blogs...you all bless me so much. Hugs to you all. I hope that you have a wonderful day...
I just wanted to post quickly to let you know that (surprisingly) my Glucola test results came back yesterday. YESTERDAY! I was fully expecting to put on my waiting shoes and stay in a holding pattern til after the New Year. Well, it looks like I was wrong and they pushed my test right on through despite the holiday rush.
Anyway, the results were NORMAL, thank God. I'm willing to admit now that I was worried about it, especially with my history, my IR and the totally crappy way that I've been eating for the past few (read: several) weeks. Regardless of how hard I try, all I want to eat is junk food and carbs...I literally gag on anything green or healthy or remotely good for me other than a few certain fruits. I feel like I'm totally blowing all the hard work I've done over the past year and could be harming Baby B in the process. I know that's probably just my neurosis talking but it's true...I am just eating so poorly! So, despite my waywardness, it does my heart and mind a little good to know that between the Lord and the Metformin, that GD is on the back burner, at least for now. :)
I would love to say that I'm going to eat more healthily for sure (I do try...really! And I succeed sometimes) but right now I'm sitting here craving donuts and Twix bars and french fries...all of it...together. What am I supposed to do with that? And don't tell a hormonal pregnant chic that it's mind over matter. HA! My mind just says that it doesn't matter at all...feed me! :D
While I'm rejoicing with this good news, my heart is breaking for my good friend, A. She conceived using IVF w/ICSI just a few weeks ago but found out yesterday that her pregnancy was ectopic. She had to have surgery to remove the baby AND her right tube yesterday afternoon. She is distraught (and rightly so) and I feel so terribly for her. If you're of the praying persuasion, take a moment to remember A and her family with me today. This is incredibly hard anytime but we all know what the holidays can do to us IFers anyway and now she has this to contend with as well.
I'm thinking of all of you today! I've been catching up on my reading and have found some wonderful, insightful and touching things on your blogs...you all bless me so much. Hugs to you all. I hope that you have a wonderful day...
Monday, December 21, 2009
This Week in Pregnancy: 14/15 Weeks, ICLW and a Lot of Other Stuff...
Here I am! Did you think that I disappeared??
Sorry to have gone AWOL on you guys. We are officially in the holiday swing of things around Brazierville and I don't seem to have a single second to spare lately. Not that I'm complaining...I'm not! I love Christmastime and all the things that come with it. This year I just didn't take into account how tired I'd be trying to get it all done! :) So, I'm going to try and catch you up on all our goings-on...this might be a long one!
First things first: Baby B!
*I titled this post 14/15 Weeks because I missed last week's post and am already past the 15 week mark for this week's post, so we're having the combo platter this time. :)
*Most of my symptoms are waining except occasional random nausea, constant peeing, slightly sore boobs, lingering (but usually minor) fatigue and a daily headache. That's good and bad, of course, just like we've talked about before.
*My doctor's appointment last week was uneventful and even slightly disappointing. My regular doc got called out on an emergency twin delivery just before I arrived at my appointment on Thursday...no biggie (it is an OB's office, after all) but they didn't tell me that she wasn't there or that another doctor would be seeing me...I found out when some doctor I didn't know and had never seen walked into the room. Talk about weird! And to say that the other doc and I didn't hit it off is a bit of an understatement. She was very abrupt and to the point, hardly answered any of my questions and was only in the room for 2 MINUTES...and she never even looked at me, just at my chart. Seriously, I am NOT exaggerating. And she didn't even offer to listen to the baby's heartbeat with the Doppler. I had to ask about it and then she acted like it would take an Act of Congress to get it done. Give me a break, lady! I know that I'm not her regular patient but isn't that pretty standard? I didn't drive all the way down there just to get my blood pressure checked, you know? Anyway, I know my psycho-chick pregnancy hormones didn't help the situation at all but I was very disappointed with the visit as a whole and I requested that if Dr. D is out the next time I come in that I see another doc...any other doc...than the one that I saw Thursday. I wasn't ugly but I was firm about my request...I feel like we've been through too much (and are paying them A LOT of money!) to get sub par treatment. Know what I mean? Or am I just nuts?
*Consequently, I probably have another little note on my file detailing my experience. I'm sure they'll be glad to see the back of me come June. :) I don't care as long as we get all the care we need for me and Baby B.
*After moving the mountain of requesting a Doppler check, we did hear a strong, clear heartbeat (still quite fast according to the tech who jellied my belly) and everything else was good, too. I actually lost 2 pounds in the last month (thanks to vomiting, I'm sure) and my BP was perfect, thank God.
*My Glucola didn't make me puke this time (yippee!) but we won't know the results for a week or so (maybe even longer with the holidays arriving). So, we're just waiting but not worrying about that.
*My next appointment is mid-January and if our little one cooperates, we'll be finding out whether we'll be decorating in pink or blue come spring. How exciting!
*In other news, I've finally let myself start reading some pregnancy books and mags. I had really held off on this because I've jumped right in with both feet before and been totally inundated with info and tips and stories all that ended up not applying to me when the unthinkable happened yet again. I hope I'm not setting myself up again this time but I must admit that I'm enjoying some of the things I've found. (I'll post about some of the titles I'm perusing later this week...hopefully.)
ICLW!
*Welcome ICLWers! Thanks so much for stopping by!! Please excuse this scattered mess that disguises itself as a post...I'm in catch up mode today. :)
*My current story is that I'm (obviously if you've read this far) pregnant, just entering my second trimester, after several losses due (most likely) to PCOS. My profile explains a lot, as do the entries labelled with PCOS or pregnancy...feel free to look around. Check on other ICLW post for some of our back story, too. Be nosy, look through my things...and have a good time doing it! I also write a bit about my family, pets and just plain old everyday life. I hope you enjoy your reading...and come back again soon!
And in the "Other Stuff" category:
*We had our first official Christmas gathering over the weekend and we had a blast! It's one of the reasons that I haven't taken much time to post recently...I was pretty busy getting ready for it (it was at our house). I'll try to get some pics posted soon so that you can all share in our revelry. :)
*This week looks to be PACKED with lots of going and doing and visiting (and eating!! :D). Though I'm sure that I'll be tired (and tired of it) by the end of it all, I am truly looking forward to it. Did I mention that I love Christmas?
*I got to spend several uninterrupted hours with my very best friend yesterday. It was lovely! We talked and shopped and ate and talked some more. I had the most wonderful time even if I'll need to sneak in an extra nap today to make up for my loss of sleep last night. ;) It was worth every minute!
*It has been pretty cold here recently (which is a bit uncommon for this neck of the woods) and the weather man is even forecasting snow for Christmas Eve. Granted, we get a prediction or two every winter and it doesn't happen like they say it will but just the thought makes me a bit giddy inside. The little kid who lives in me would LOVE to wake up to a white Christmas. :)
And that's all I guess. There are several other random little tidbits that I could write about but this is getting quite long and I know that we both have better things to do than spend all day on this blog! I hope that you all had a fabulous weekend and that the week to come is filled with joy, peace and wonder. I'll be talking to you again soon. Happy Monday!
Sorry to have gone AWOL on you guys. We are officially in the holiday swing of things around Brazierville and I don't seem to have a single second to spare lately. Not that I'm complaining...I'm not! I love Christmastime and all the things that come with it. This year I just didn't take into account how tired I'd be trying to get it all done! :) So, I'm going to try and catch you up on all our goings-on...this might be a long one!
First things first: Baby B!
*I titled this post 14/15 Weeks because I missed last week's post and am already past the 15 week mark for this week's post, so we're having the combo platter this time. :)
*Most of my symptoms are waining except occasional random nausea, constant peeing, slightly sore boobs, lingering (but usually minor) fatigue and a daily headache. That's good and bad, of course, just like we've talked about before.
*My doctor's appointment last week was uneventful and even slightly disappointing. My regular doc got called out on an emergency twin delivery just before I arrived at my appointment on Thursday...no biggie (it is an OB's office, after all) but they didn't tell me that she wasn't there or that another doctor would be seeing me...I found out when some doctor I didn't know and had never seen walked into the room. Talk about weird! And to say that the other doc and I didn't hit it off is a bit of an understatement. She was very abrupt and to the point, hardly answered any of my questions and was only in the room for 2 MINUTES...and she never even looked at me, just at my chart. Seriously, I am NOT exaggerating. And she didn't even offer to listen to the baby's heartbeat with the Doppler. I had to ask about it and then she acted like it would take an Act of Congress to get it done. Give me a break, lady! I know that I'm not her regular patient but isn't that pretty standard? I didn't drive all the way down there just to get my blood pressure checked, you know? Anyway, I know my psycho-chick pregnancy hormones didn't help the situation at all but I was very disappointed with the visit as a whole and I requested that if Dr. D is out the next time I come in that I see another doc...any other doc...than the one that I saw Thursday. I wasn't ugly but I was firm about my request...I feel like we've been through too much (and are paying them A LOT of money!) to get sub par treatment. Know what I mean? Or am I just nuts?
*Consequently, I probably have another little note on my file detailing my experience. I'm sure they'll be glad to see the back of me come June. :) I don't care as long as we get all the care we need for me and Baby B.
*After moving the mountain of requesting a Doppler check, we did hear a strong, clear heartbeat (still quite fast according to the tech who jellied my belly) and everything else was good, too. I actually lost 2 pounds in the last month (thanks to vomiting, I'm sure) and my BP was perfect, thank God.
*My Glucola didn't make me puke this time (yippee!) but we won't know the results for a week or so (maybe even longer with the holidays arriving). So, we're just waiting but not worrying about that.
*My next appointment is mid-January and if our little one cooperates, we'll be finding out whether we'll be decorating in pink or blue come spring. How exciting!
*In other news, I've finally let myself start reading some pregnancy books and mags. I had really held off on this because I've jumped right in with both feet before and been totally inundated with info and tips and stories all that ended up not applying to me when the unthinkable happened yet again. I hope I'm not setting myself up again this time but I must admit that I'm enjoying some of the things I've found. (I'll post about some of the titles I'm perusing later this week...hopefully.)
ICLW!
*Welcome ICLWers! Thanks so much for stopping by!! Please excuse this scattered mess that disguises itself as a post...I'm in catch up mode today. :)
*My current story is that I'm (obviously if you've read this far) pregnant, just entering my second trimester, after several losses due (most likely) to PCOS. My profile explains a lot, as do the entries labelled with PCOS or pregnancy...feel free to look around. Check on other ICLW post for some of our back story, too. Be nosy, look through my things...and have a good time doing it! I also write a bit about my family, pets and just plain old everyday life. I hope you enjoy your reading...and come back again soon!
And in the "Other Stuff" category:
*We had our first official Christmas gathering over the weekend and we had a blast! It's one of the reasons that I haven't taken much time to post recently...I was pretty busy getting ready for it (it was at our house). I'll try to get some pics posted soon so that you can all share in our revelry. :)
*This week looks to be PACKED with lots of going and doing and visiting (and eating!! :D). Though I'm sure that I'll be tired (and tired of it) by the end of it all, I am truly looking forward to it. Did I mention that I love Christmas?
*I got to spend several uninterrupted hours with my very best friend yesterday. It was lovely! We talked and shopped and ate and talked some more. I had the most wonderful time even if I'll need to sneak in an extra nap today to make up for my loss of sleep last night. ;) It was worth every minute!
*It has been pretty cold here recently (which is a bit uncommon for this neck of the woods) and the weather man is even forecasting snow for Christmas Eve. Granted, we get a prediction or two every winter and it doesn't happen like they say it will but just the thought makes me a bit giddy inside. The little kid who lives in me would LOVE to wake up to a white Christmas. :)
And that's all I guess. There are several other random little tidbits that I could write about but this is getting quite long and I know that we both have better things to do than spend all day on this blog! I hope that you all had a fabulous weekend and that the week to come is filled with joy, peace and wonder. I'll be talking to you again soon. Happy Monday!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Guilty
Hi, ladies. Just thought I'd jot down a few lines before I fix dinner tonight and take a minute to say hello. Hope you all had a good weekend and an easy transition into this Monday.
It's gray and dreary and not-so-cold here today...rainy, too. The perfect day to veg out on the couch and do nothing. Which isn't exactly what I did (but it was close!). I think of Mondays as "my" day most of the time, especially after a busy weekend. Everyone is back to their respective grinds and I'm home, catching up on housework and laundry (and sleep, too, these days). So, as my washer and dryer did most of the work this Monday, I sat on the sofa and caught up with my DVR'd shows or at the computer and read blogs and e-mails and the like. Sounds boring to most, I'm sure, but I enjoyed it...at least at first.
The more I read, the more I find out, the guiltier I feel. Really. That may sound stupid but it's true...I have read so much bad news recently that it seems unreal. Everything from freak accidents and disease and death to illnesses and BFN's and losses. It seems everyone I talk to or read about or know is currently dealing with something terrible...and I seem to be strolling right along, doing just fine.
NOT THAT I WANT TROUBLE! I don't...but it makes me feel guilty sometimes to know that while we're doing well in most aspects right now, folks all around me both in real life and in cyberspace are really sick or hurting or down. So, if that's you, please know that I'm thinking about you and praying for you...and am reminded of my blessings so very much right now. Though I'm not sorry that I'm doing okay, I am sorry that I can't make it right or well for you, especially at this time of year when everyone is usually filled with joy and peace and goodness. I just can't seem to reconcile this all in my mind sometimes.
Hugs and prayers and lots of love to you all. You're on my mind and in my heart today.
It's gray and dreary and not-so-cold here today...rainy, too. The perfect day to veg out on the couch and do nothing. Which isn't exactly what I did (but it was close!). I think of Mondays as "my" day most of the time, especially after a busy weekend. Everyone is back to their respective grinds and I'm home, catching up on housework and laundry (and sleep, too, these days). So, as my washer and dryer did most of the work this Monday, I sat on the sofa and caught up with my DVR'd shows or at the computer and read blogs and e-mails and the like. Sounds boring to most, I'm sure, but I enjoyed it...at least at first.
The more I read, the more I find out, the guiltier I feel. Really. That may sound stupid but it's true...I have read so much bad news recently that it seems unreal. Everything from freak accidents and disease and death to illnesses and BFN's and losses. It seems everyone I talk to or read about or know is currently dealing with something terrible...and I seem to be strolling right along, doing just fine.
NOT THAT I WANT TROUBLE! I don't...but it makes me feel guilty sometimes to know that while we're doing well in most aspects right now, folks all around me both in real life and in cyberspace are really sick or hurting or down. So, if that's you, please know that I'm thinking about you and praying for you...and am reminded of my blessings so very much right now. Though I'm not sorry that I'm doing okay, I am sorry that I can't make it right or well for you, especially at this time of year when everyone is usually filled with joy and peace and goodness. I just can't seem to reconcile this all in my mind sometimes.
Hugs and prayers and lots of love to you all. You're on my mind and in my heart today.
Friday, December 11, 2009
This Week in Pregnancy: 13+ Weeks...and my 100th Post
No, not my 100th post about this sweet baby, though some days it seems like that (at least to me)! It's my 100th blog post...and who would have ever believed that I'd stick with something this long?! Or that anyone would even care that I did or stop to read it? Not me, if the truth be told. But here I am and here you are, so I'll say, "THANKS!!" for stopping by for this momentous occasion...and now I'll fill you in on what we're really here for:
Baby B!
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**Things are good as far as I know. I think this has been the most uneventful part of things by far. Not that I don't like uneventful...I'll take it!! Especially if "uneventful" equals "no problems". :)
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**But of course, being so uneventful worries me since I can't know for sure that everything is okay. I am still a totally-freaked-out-on-pins-and-needles worrywart most of the time.
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**There are really no major changes this week except that most of my regular symptoms are diminished a bit and my heartburn is raging, especially at night. Tums are my new best friend. Thankfully, this is all normal for now but it is a bit disconcerting to me. I actually enjoyed the nausea and vomiting and that whole mixed bag of nastiness (okay, maybe that's a little exaggerated)...but can you understand where I'm coming from? It helped me KNOW that things were okay, especially since I never throw up otherwise. Now that's gone except for a little random nausea...and I really don't like it.
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**I am officially through with the first trimester. WHAT!? Yes...I am now beginning the second trimester of this pregnancy. I never really thought that I would get here and I still don't really believe it. I think I'm still waiting on the other shoe to drop, so to speak.
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**The fear that things will go wrong is still around in full force and my psycho-crazy dreams aren't helping at all. I dream the strangest things everytime I close my eyes to sleep, even if it's just for a nap. Bizarre things, chaos, murder, natural disasters, death, fighting, losing people or things that I love...I wake up in tears more often than not. I HATE it but I can't seem to do anything about it. I've tried relaxing therapies before I sleep, I've changed my sleeping positions, warm baths, calming scents, happy thoughts, soft music...and I still dream of blood and guts and gore. Geez. It is NO fun and doesn't make for very restful sleep either. Grrrr.
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**Have I mentioned my sweet husband in all of this? I don't think I have, so I must tell you: HE IS A PRINCE. Truly. I have been (and continue to be on somedays!) a crazy, hormonal bleepity-bleep for the past several weeks and he has just taken it in stride. He takes care of so much for me...things that I can't do medically (like tend to the cats and their litter box or doing the heavy lifting) or things that make me sick (especially where smells are involved, like taking out the trash or cooking certain foods) and even things that I was too tired to do in the early weeks. He's done more vaccuming and cleaning and toilet scrubbing and dishwasher loading and unloading in the past couple of months than he has in his whole life! Bless his heart! He is so very good to me (even if he doesn't quite know what to do if I break out in a hormone-induced crying fit because the dog needs a bath). :) I am so incredibly blessed to have him and I don't know what I would do without him. Thank you so much, honey!
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**I go back to the doctor in less than a week...thank goodness. I think I'm an OB/GYN Junkie these days! It's a bit of an obsession to go see Dr. D and get the thumbs up that everything is copacetic. :) At next week's visit I have to do my first 1-hour GTT (glucose tolerance test), early of course because of our past history and my insulin-resistance issues. Gag. That stuff is so nasty...I hope I can keep it down. If I pass it, I'll continue on with things as they are and have to do it all again at 28 weeks. If not, I'll have to do the 3-hour GTT (and probably go even more low-carb in my diet). Been there, done that...not fun. So, if I cross your mind, say a prayer that my insulin and glucose levels are controlled and that we won't have to deal with GD (gestational diabetes) along with everything else.
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And I guess that's about all (goodness knows that it needs to be...this post is L-O-N-G). It is quite chilly here and I've a huge pot of soup bubbling away on the stove. It should be warm and filling tonight...and it makes my house smell wonderfully homey in the meantime. My heart is going out to you all who are dealing with hardship right now...you know who you are and that you're in my prayers. I am so sorry that you've been dealt a sorrowful hand. And congrats to H on the birth of her sweet little one yesterday and to A who finally, finally, finally got her BFP after IVF w/ICSI. So happy for you girls...can't wait to follow your journeys. You're in my prayers as well. Oh, and of course, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KIM! You've finally caught up with me again. ;)
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Hope you all have a fabulous weekend. We're headed to the in-laws this evening (oh, joy.) and hope to finish you my Christmas shopping (and wrapping) tomorrow. All the best to you and yours...Adios!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Daydreaming
Hello, ladies! Hope you're all having a great Thursday. I'm plodding along, catching up on laundry and housework (what else is new?). I've also managed to wrap a few Christmas gifts, as well...although there is still a lot left to do, I have made a small dent in the pile. :) I've discovered that I can't buy my niece, Zoey, anything else...I have so much more stuff for her than I realized (and than I do for anyone else)! It is blessedly quiet here today as I'm home alone (except for the sleeping husband) and I'm really enjoying it. It has given me some time to catch up with phone calls (multi-tasking, of course) and even a few e-mails, do some overdue cleaning and take some time to think...just about whatever rolls through my mind.
I'll be the first to admit...I'm a daydreamer. I love to think and plan and wish over the "what if's" like winning the lottery or getting some huge inheritance from an unknown relative or something equally as awesome. If by chance we ever win the $459 bazillion lottery (a HUGE chance seeing that we don't play the lottery!), I'll know exactly what to do with it. ;D
Today, I'm thinking a lot about what Baby B might be like when (s)he gets here, as (s)he grows up, etc. Who will (s)he look like? Act like? Want to emulate? What will (s)he do first? Say first? Like? Dislike? It all seems so very, very surreal that actually having a baby could be happening to ME. Me, the one who has never made it this far before. That's right...I said it. We've never been this far before and while that freaks me out like you can never know, it almost gives me the freedom to hope...to dream a little for this baby. I've been burned with that before so I'm trying hard to keep it all in check. But, truly, on days like today when I have the time just to think, it catches up with me before I know it. There are so many things that I want for this child and I just pray that God will grant me mercy and allow us the joy of seeing it all come to pass.
I think of the laughs and decisions and smiles and tears and lessons that will be learned...the teaching and learning and wanting and wishing that we will do together...the birthdays and holidays and vacations and travels that we'll have....I can hardly wait. Yet, I can hardly believe that I'm even allowing myself to think that far ahead. I wonder if I'm setting myself up for another heartbreak but still I just can't help but have hope.
Do I sound like a crazy person? That's okay...I'll take crazy (and whatever else you want to call me) as long as this baby that I'm daydreaming about comes with it. :) I know that you ladies who are (or have been) in my boat, so to speak, do understand where I'm coming from...which is why I felt free to share my daydreams with you today.
I know I said before that I wouldn't inundate you all with baby stuff constantly (and I won't...I promise!), but it was on my mind today. There are so many of you who are on my mind and in my heart while I daydream today, too...I'm praying for you and your someday babies and wondering what they'll be like, as well. May all your (day)dreams come true, too...
Now I'm off to take a little afternoon nap (and likely do some real dreaming...and boy are these preggo dreams a doozy!!. I'll have to tell you about them in tomorrow's post). Have a wonderful afternoon, my friends...I'll catch up with you later!
I'll be the first to admit...I'm a daydreamer. I love to think and plan and wish over the "what if's" like winning the lottery or getting some huge inheritance from an unknown relative or something equally as awesome. If by chance we ever win the $459 bazillion lottery (a HUGE chance seeing that we don't play the lottery!), I'll know exactly what to do with it. ;D
Today, I'm thinking a lot about what Baby B might be like when (s)he gets here, as (s)he grows up, etc. Who will (s)he look like? Act like? Want to emulate? What will (s)he do first? Say first? Like? Dislike? It all seems so very, very surreal that actually having a baby could be happening to ME. Me, the one who has never made it this far before. That's right...I said it. We've never been this far before and while that freaks me out like you can never know, it almost gives me the freedom to hope...to dream a little for this baby. I've been burned with that before so I'm trying hard to keep it all in check. But, truly, on days like today when I have the time just to think, it catches up with me before I know it. There are so many things that I want for this child and I just pray that God will grant me mercy and allow us the joy of seeing it all come to pass.
I think of the laughs and decisions and smiles and tears and lessons that will be learned...the teaching and learning and wanting and wishing that we will do together...the birthdays and holidays and vacations and travels that we'll have....I can hardly wait. Yet, I can hardly believe that I'm even allowing myself to think that far ahead. I wonder if I'm setting myself up for another heartbreak but still I just can't help but have hope.
Do I sound like a crazy person? That's okay...I'll take crazy (and whatever else you want to call me) as long as this baby that I'm daydreaming about comes with it. :) I know that you ladies who are (or have been) in my boat, so to speak, do understand where I'm coming from...which is why I felt free to share my daydreams with you today.
I know I said before that I wouldn't inundate you all with baby stuff constantly (and I won't...I promise!), but it was on my mind today. There are so many of you who are on my mind and in my heart while I daydream today, too...I'm praying for you and your someday babies and wondering what they'll be like, as well. May all your (day)dreams come true, too...
Now I'm off to take a little afternoon nap (and likely do some real dreaming...and boy are these preggo dreams a doozy!!. I'll have to tell you about them in tomorrow's post). Have a wonderful afternoon, my friends...I'll catch up with you later!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Busy, Busy, Busy
I just thought I'd have more time to post once things got back to "normal" around here! Guess that's what I get for thinking. :)
Things have been so busy for the past few days...way more than usual. We did get most of our Christmas decorating done. Man, we have so, so, so much stuff. When we moved to this house last year, I thought I realized how much smaller our family room was than in our old house. Not so much! I found out for sure when I got out all of our holiday stuff. Holy cow! We have got so much stuff...really! I have BOXES of things that didn't even get used! But we finally got it all sifted through and decorated and even (mostly) put away. I do have a few things that I left down from the attic because they're things that I always use and don't quite know where to put...but feel weird not using them. Anyone know what I mean? Traditional stuff that just has to be out (but I really don't have a spot for it). I guess I'll either find a spot for it or stuff it in the closet when folks come over til it's time to put it all back in the attic again. :)
One of the reasons that things have been so busy is that my Uncle B, my cousin (and BFF) Kim's dad, had to have open heart surgery yesterday. He's been telling everyone for a while that he thought something was wrong but all of his tests had come back in the clear until Friday. He had a heart cath that found 4 blockages, 3 of them major, so he was scheduled for surgery yesterday. Bless his heart, he had on a brave front but I know he was frightened...we all were. I'm happy to say, even after a longer-than-anticipated operation, he is doing well. They even moved him from the ICU to the Cardiac Step-Down Unit hours earlier than planned...and to a regular room today...an entire day ahead of schedule! That is wonderful news to me and I'm so glad that he's doing so well. :)
Since he's been hospitalized (and will be for several more days), his wife (Aunt B) isn't able to babysit Kim's kiddos like usual, so I've been pitch hitting there where I can. They all came home with me last night and the twins (age 4) slept over and then spent the day with me today. They are so much fun...and make me so glad that when Baby B is born that (s)he won't come out with a partner! ;p As much as I love kids, I'm glad that ours will start out small and I'll have a while to grown into parenthood. Kudos to you ladies who have a different kind of motherhood with adopting older kids...you have got to be superheros of some kind. I don't think I could do it! :D Those 2 wore their Aunt Kelli out today!!
I'm glad our life is more back to normal now and that I could do it though. Especially today. It's my dad's birthday and it saddens me to not be free to call him or go see him today...his request, not mine...so being busy with the twinlets kept my mind off of it (at least until they went home). We're not super close or anything but we do at least do the birthday thing, you know? It just feels a little strange and it makes me wonder if that whole situation will ever get worked out. My Mamaw (who was unwillingly pulled into this when Dad and J decided not to come to Thanksgiving like usual) has talked with me about all of this and I confided a little in her about how I'm feeling. She thinks that things will just have to be overlooked and we should just let bygones be bygones. If things are dredged up again, even to apologize, she thinks we'll likely just fight again...and she's probably right. No one ever wants to admit to being wrong or wants to be the one to apologize. But hurt feelings sometimes last a long time and somethings (like being disowned) just can't be swept under the rug. Can they? And who makes the first contact? Are they NEVER going to attend a family function for the rest of their years just to keep the feud going? I know that there are no real answers to all this but it's just on my mind again today with his birthday, you know? I don't know that there's anything I can really do about it...apologies were rejected and folks are still mad, I guess. But it still sucks that what should have been a misunderstanding turned into something so...extreme. What to do?
And with that I've turned what was a happy post into a sad one. Sorry about that! Things really are good around Brazierville...we're blessed and happy and healthy regardless of our struggles. And now since I've written more than I planned to, I'm going to struggle with getting dinner on the table in time. Oops!
Hope you're all having a great week...we'll catch up more later! :)
Things have been so busy for the past few days...way more than usual. We did get most of our Christmas decorating done. Man, we have so, so, so much stuff. When we moved to this house last year, I thought I realized how much smaller our family room was than in our old house. Not so much! I found out for sure when I got out all of our holiday stuff. Holy cow! We have got so much stuff...really! I have BOXES of things that didn't even get used! But we finally got it all sifted through and decorated and even (mostly) put away. I do have a few things that I left down from the attic because they're things that I always use and don't quite know where to put...but feel weird not using them. Anyone know what I mean? Traditional stuff that just has to be out (but I really don't have a spot for it). I guess I'll either find a spot for it or stuff it in the closet when folks come over til it's time to put it all back in the attic again. :)
One of the reasons that things have been so busy is that my Uncle B, my cousin (and BFF) Kim's dad, had to have open heart surgery yesterday. He's been telling everyone for a while that he thought something was wrong but all of his tests had come back in the clear until Friday. He had a heart cath that found 4 blockages, 3 of them major, so he was scheduled for surgery yesterday. Bless his heart, he had on a brave front but I know he was frightened...we all were. I'm happy to say, even after a longer-than-anticipated operation, he is doing well. They even moved him from the ICU to the Cardiac Step-Down Unit hours earlier than planned...and to a regular room today...an entire day ahead of schedule! That is wonderful news to me and I'm so glad that he's doing so well. :)
Since he's been hospitalized (and will be for several more days), his wife (Aunt B) isn't able to babysit Kim's kiddos like usual, so I've been pitch hitting there where I can. They all came home with me last night and the twins (age 4) slept over and then spent the day with me today. They are so much fun...and make me so glad that when Baby B is born that (s)he won't come out with a partner! ;p As much as I love kids, I'm glad that ours will start out small and I'll have a while to grown into parenthood. Kudos to you ladies who have a different kind of motherhood with adopting older kids...you have got to be superheros of some kind. I don't think I could do it! :D Those 2 wore their Aunt Kelli out today!!
I'm glad our life is more back to normal now and that I could do it though. Especially today. It's my dad's birthday and it saddens me to not be free to call him or go see him today...his request, not mine...so being busy with the twinlets kept my mind off of it (at least until they went home). We're not super close or anything but we do at least do the birthday thing, you know? It just feels a little strange and it makes me wonder if that whole situation will ever get worked out. My Mamaw (who was unwillingly pulled into this when Dad and J decided not to come to Thanksgiving like usual) has talked with me about all of this and I confided a little in her about how I'm feeling. She thinks that things will just have to be overlooked and we should just let bygones be bygones. If things are dredged up again, even to apologize, she thinks we'll likely just fight again...and she's probably right. No one ever wants to admit to being wrong or wants to be the one to apologize. But hurt feelings sometimes last a long time and somethings (like being disowned) just can't be swept under the rug. Can they? And who makes the first contact? Are they NEVER going to attend a family function for the rest of their years just to keep the feud going? I know that there are no real answers to all this but it's just on my mind again today with his birthday, you know? I don't know that there's anything I can really do about it...apologies were rejected and folks are still mad, I guess. But it still sucks that what should have been a misunderstanding turned into something so...extreme. What to do?
And with that I've turned what was a happy post into a sad one. Sorry about that! Things really are good around Brazierville...we're blessed and happy and healthy regardless of our struggles. And now since I've written more than I planned to, I'm going to struggle with getting dinner on the table in time. Oops!
Hope you're all having a great week...we'll catch up more later! :)
Saturday, December 5, 2009
This Week in Pregnancy: 12+ Weeks
Hello, girls...
Once again this week, I'm a day late (and likely a dollar short, too) but you know that's nothing new for me. :) Things are pretty much the same, more or less. Here's the weekly low-down:
I've got more of:
*heartburn/indigestion
*waking up during the night to pee
*nausea (I thought that was gone!)
And less of:
*super sore BB's (they're still sore but not excruciating)
*the nasty cold (it's all but gone!)
*extreme tiredness
*chicken cravings
Things that remain unchaged:
*scent/food aversions
*super desire for carby foods
*blurry vision
*headaches
New this week:
*bloody gums when I brush my teeth (due to increased bloodflow in the body, I'm told.)
*cravings for hot cocoa...all the time
As for the CHICKEN POX...thank God, I am immune and don't have any complications from being exposed over the Thanksgiving weekend. Thanks for all your prayers and comments! It's 2 weeks 'til I get to go to the OB again for a check-up (and of course, I can hardly wait to make sure Baby B is doing well).
I know that this is short and sweet but we have a busy day ahead of us...lots of Christmas decorating to do now that I've come back from the dead. :) I'll catch up with you some more next week. Have a GREAT weekend! :)
Once again this week, I'm a day late (and likely a dollar short, too) but you know that's nothing new for me. :) Things are pretty much the same, more or less. Here's the weekly low-down:
I've got more of:
*heartburn/indigestion
*waking up during the night to pee
*nausea (I thought that was gone!)
And less of:
*super sore BB's (they're still sore but not excruciating)
*the nasty cold (it's all but gone!)
*extreme tiredness
*chicken cravings
Things that remain unchaged:
*scent/food aversions
*super desire for carby foods
*blurry vision
*headaches
New this week:
*bloody gums when I brush my teeth (due to increased bloodflow in the body, I'm told.)
*cravings for hot cocoa...all the time
As for the CHICKEN POX...thank God, I am immune and don't have any complications from being exposed over the Thanksgiving weekend. Thanks for all your prayers and comments! It's 2 weeks 'til I get to go to the OB again for a check-up (and of course, I can hardly wait to make sure Baby B is doing well).
I know that this is short and sweet but we have a busy day ahead of us...lots of Christmas decorating to do now that I've come back from the dead. :) I'll catch up with you some more next week. Have a GREAT weekend! :)
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Just a "Normal" Day
Good Morning all my bloggy friends! I hope that this day finds you happy, healthy and well.
Thanks so much for your comments, prayers and good thoughts about our most recent drama. I'm not sure what I'd do without you ladies being there to encourage me and help me keep my chin up. I did go to the OB yesterday and got the blood work done to see if I have any immunity to the chicken pox virus. The results should be back by the end of the week, so we're in a bit of limbo 'til then but I'm trying to be positive. TRYING. I am not doing anymore research, chatting with good ol' Dr. Google or dwelling on "maybes". We'll cross the chicken pox bridge when we come to it later this week and just say lots of prayers 'til then. :) As for my cold, she did give me the okay to take some Tylenol Cold & Sinus and some regular Mucinex since the Sudafed and Benadryl weren't helping. Thank. You. God. I'm starting to feel human again, especially after a good night's sleep last night. Woo-hoo!
Back to everyday life, you might notice that I'm writing in the middle of the week, a rarity for me in recent times. As you may have guessed, my time of Grandma-sitting is now over. Her kids chose to put her in a nursing home that is 3 HOURS AWAY (that's a story for another day) and yesterday was her first day there. Part of me is so incredibly sad about this, mostly because it wasn't necessary just yet...my MIL could have kept her if she wanted to (but she wouldn't)...and because G'ma is currently doing so well. Physically, she's aces (except for the ongoing therapy for her hip) and the docs recently changed her Alzheimer's meds and added some others to her regimen and she is much more lucid now than she has been in recent months. That is GREAT...except that she now KNOWS that she's going to a nursing home and is aware of everything that escaped her just weeks ago. It breaks my heart. I HATE that she's having to deal with this, that we're having to deal with this, especially right here at the holidays. I know that in the long run, it's probably best but I don't have to like it right now. (I sound like a petulant little kid, don't I? :p) If you think of Mike's little Grandma, say a prayer that she adjusts well.
On the other hand, the tired, stressed out, selfish side of me is very glad to see the chaos of keeping her end. Does that make me a terrible person? If it does, so be it, I guess. It does seem surreal to me that I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn and go out in the cold, just to go sit with her while she dozes. But I will admit that I have thoroughly enjoyed sleeping later than I was, slumming around in my jammies...even being able to be so sick and not worry that I might give it to her or something like that. Today is the first "normal" day that I have had in months and it feels SO strange. Having time to really clean (and not just hit the high spots), do laundry (and actually get it folded or hung...and possibly even put away), to cook something that takes more than 10 minutes (or 10 hours in the crock-pot), run errands, catching up on things that I've let slide for so long that I've practically forgotten about them. It just feels a little...strange? Lazy? Weird? I don't know. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I'll slide right back into my "old" ways of doing things and will soon be complaining of not having enough hours in the day to do these menial things that I seem to have an abundance of time for now...but for today, it feels odd to be back to "normal". Does that make any sense at all? Maybe I should pray that I adjust well, too.
I guess it boils down to this: I was totally ready to have my time back and not be the sole Grandma-sitter but I didn't want it to end just because they chose to put her in a nursing home. It seems that I can't have it both ways, so here we are.
So, it looks like my to-do list today will include some housework, cooking, laundry, bill-paying and catching up with e-mails. Maybe even some decorating for Christmas. Be sure to know that I'll still fit a nap (or maybe 2) in there somewhere and will probably still have some time to kill.
Was it always this "normal" around here? Man, we are some dull folks... :)
Thanks so much for your comments, prayers and good thoughts about our most recent drama. I'm not sure what I'd do without you ladies being there to encourage me and help me keep my chin up. I did go to the OB yesterday and got the blood work done to see if I have any immunity to the chicken pox virus. The results should be back by the end of the week, so we're in a bit of limbo 'til then but I'm trying to be positive. TRYING. I am not doing anymore research, chatting with good ol' Dr. Google or dwelling on "maybes". We'll cross the chicken pox bridge when we come to it later this week and just say lots of prayers 'til then. :) As for my cold, she did give me the okay to take some Tylenol Cold & Sinus and some regular Mucinex since the Sudafed and Benadryl weren't helping. Thank. You. God. I'm starting to feel human again, especially after a good night's sleep last night. Woo-hoo!
Back to everyday life, you might notice that I'm writing in the middle of the week, a rarity for me in recent times. As you may have guessed, my time of Grandma-sitting is now over. Her kids chose to put her in a nursing home that is 3 HOURS AWAY (that's a story for another day) and yesterday was her first day there. Part of me is so incredibly sad about this, mostly because it wasn't necessary just yet...my MIL could have kept her if she wanted to (but she wouldn't)...and because G'ma is currently doing so well. Physically, she's aces (except for the ongoing therapy for her hip) and the docs recently changed her Alzheimer's meds and added some others to her regimen and she is much more lucid now than she has been in recent months. That is GREAT...except that she now KNOWS that she's going to a nursing home and is aware of everything that escaped her just weeks ago. It breaks my heart. I HATE that she's having to deal with this, that we're having to deal with this, especially right here at the holidays. I know that in the long run, it's probably best but I don't have to like it right now. (I sound like a petulant little kid, don't I? :p) If you think of Mike's little Grandma, say a prayer that she adjusts well.
On the other hand, the tired, stressed out, selfish side of me is very glad to see the chaos of keeping her end. Does that make me a terrible person? If it does, so be it, I guess. It does seem surreal to me that I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn and go out in the cold, just to go sit with her while she dozes. But I will admit that I have thoroughly enjoyed sleeping later than I was, slumming around in my jammies...even being able to be so sick and not worry that I might give it to her or something like that. Today is the first "normal" day that I have had in months and it feels SO strange. Having time to really clean (and not just hit the high spots), do laundry (and actually get it folded or hung...and possibly even put away), to cook something that takes more than 10 minutes (or 10 hours in the crock-pot), run errands, catching up on things that I've let slide for so long that I've practically forgotten about them. It just feels a little...strange? Lazy? Weird? I don't know. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I'll slide right back into my "old" ways of doing things and will soon be complaining of not having enough hours in the day to do these menial things that I seem to have an abundance of time for now...but for today, it feels odd to be back to "normal". Does that make any sense at all? Maybe I should pray that I adjust well, too.
I guess it boils down to this: I was totally ready to have my time back and not be the sole Grandma-sitter but I didn't want it to end just because they chose to put her in a nursing home. It seems that I can't have it both ways, so here we are.
So, it looks like my to-do list today will include some housework, cooking, laundry, bill-paying and catching up with e-mails. Maybe even some decorating for Christmas. Be sure to know that I'll still fit a nap (or maybe 2) in there somewhere and will probably still have some time to kill.
Was it always this "normal" around here? Man, we are some dull folks... :)
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