Have You Ever Been On The Defense??

I kind of feel that way today and I really don't want to be. Have you ever had to defend yourself or something that you did/said to someone who might not necessarily understand where you're coming from? I think I'm finding myself in that situation just now.

It seems that some people who are dear to me have discovered my little corner of the blogosphere and while I feel confident that they love me (or I certainly hope so! ;p), they don't exactly love what I've written. Not to put words in their mouth but I think they think that what I write is too personal or is about them in cases that it's not. I'm absolutely not for confrontation thus, I hate to be confronted but I was...so here I am.

I debated about whether to discuss this particular matter in this forum because I don't want to add fuel to any fire...but the fact remains that this my blog...my place to write out the things in my life or mind or heart that I don't have any other outlet for. It's my space to chronicle whatever I need to and I've never censored myself here and even though some might not care for it, I don't intended to. And since this issue has arisen and is taking up residence in both my mind and heart, I've decided to blog it out a bit. Maybe you could tell me if you've ever been in the same situation.

Basically, it comes down to a misunderstanding, I think. Something that was intended as a general post was taken personally and feelings were hurt. I think most of you bloggy buddies can attest to who I am online...I don't purposely post inflammatory things or try to stir things up. I don't intentionally exclude anyone and try to be careful of stepping on toes. Not to say that I'm a saint...cause we all know that I'm not! ;)...but I don't want to use my blog as weapon of words and don't think that I ever have.

I have written about my family, both close and estranged...they're obviously part of my life. I have written about problems. I have written about hurt feelings. I have written about tough choices and bad stuff and angry words. I've asked for prayers. I've asked for advice. I've shared thoughts...and dreams...and pictures. I've written in anger...in joy...in tears, and I know that is often reflected in the tone of my posts. I've made mistakes or have been misinformed and maybe there are things that I shouldn't have written about...or should have written differently...or should have waited til I was less upset (or whatever) to write. But like I said before, this is MY blog. For 4 years now, I've shared some of who I am with some great friends who have walked in my shoes, women that I've found through ALI/LFCA, ICLW, IF message boards...and some local folks, too. And I've gotten a wealth of love, support, encouragement and guidance in return. I know that I've written about a plethora of things...some of importance, some of no consequence...but they've all be part of who I am and my life at that time. Although some of the things I've written in the past don't apply anymore, I can read over old posts and see how much things have changed for me...for my family, my friends, my blog buddies...over time. It's amazing to me how much change takes place over time and I like that I've recorded it for posterity...even the bad or hurtful or upsetting things...so that I can look back and see how relationships have been mended, hurts have been healed and sorrow has been turned to joy. This blog has kind of been like my sanctuary, especially when I was going through the very worst times in our lives, and I hope it can remain that way. Do any of you feel that way about your blog? What is it to you?

So to my readers both old and new alike, (Yes, I know that you've stopped by...what you've read...when you've read it. That's just the way the Internet works.), I extend a welcome. I'm sure my regular blog readers would do the same. We're typically a nice bunch of women who exchange stories and pics and advice about our families, kids and issues. I hope that if you choose to continue reading my journal, you'll read it in the spirit that it's written...as my personal journal that's shared with people who care about me and mine and my place to chronicle my life, the good, bad and ugly. We don't always agree, we don't always see eye to eye but at the end of the day...or the posts ;)...we're all still friends are respect what each other has to say and what they share of their lives. If you're uncomfortable reading about some of the things that I write, then I'll simply say this: Don't read it. This isn't a place for arguing or hard words or strife. Like I said before, it's my sanctuary...my quiet place where I can pour out whatever I need to. I hope that if you have a place that is quiet and sacred to you, too, and that it stays that way for you, too.

So, Blog Buddies, have you ever had to defend your blog or what you write there? How did things go for you? Any words of wisdom for this blogger?